Well no wonder he kept dying
or the police
would catch up to him
in the first minute after hitting someone
or stealing a car. The game
was for big kids. It said so on the box. He
got bored despite all the things
he could do and put
the controller down.
He looked around the living room
went into the kitchen
She was nowhere
He went upstairs
opened the door to the bedroom
and, well, she was there
sprawled on the bed
filming herself with her phone
while continually stabbing
between the legs with... a lightsaber? It
seemed painful too. She was gasping.
"What are you doing?" he asked.
And her response was a scream
She pulled the
lightsaber thingy out
and threw it under the bed
and turned off the phone. "Hey, what did I tell
you about entering without
"Nothing," he said.
"Well... Just... Just don't tell
anyone about it, okay? And why did you come
"I'm sorry. Look, I keep dying at
She came downstairs with him
grabbed the controller
unpaused the game
Circle, Right, Circle, Right, Left, Square, Triangle, Up
She passed the controller to him
"Okay, now go kill somebody."
he crossed the street and punched an
old lady to death
and then stomped on her body
everyone saw that
no police showed up
no yellow stars. Nothing.
"Whaaaaat? I don't believe it."
He wandered into the street, stopped
opened the driver's door
pulled the driver out
beat him to death and stole the
"How did you do it?"
"A boyfriend taught me. Along with
many, many other things. You can
even get a device that lets you fly."
"I don't believe it!"
"Believe it. Infinite health too. I can
do that for you. If, of course..."
"Yes, yes! I'll keep the secret. I swear! And I
swear to God you're
the best, best babysitter I've ever
had. This! This is what I'm gonna
tell dad when
he gets home. I swear!"
"Don't bother. He knows."